Cobra Woman by Len Levinson

Author:Len Levinson [Levinson, Len]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Rough Edges Press
Published: 2019-06-19T00:00:00+00:00

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Dear (INSERT Low-Income Database Name):

Do you want to make big money?

Sure you do, but chances are you're in a financial rut that you’ll never dig out of for the rest of your life.

Don't despair, (INSERT Low Income Database Name), because big money is being made every day by people no different from you, who invested a few dollars in Florida real estate five years ago, and now are driving Cadillacs and living in waterfront tropical mansions.

Wouldn't you like to

RIIINGGGGG.

"Mister Throckmorton would like to see you."

Sam adjusted his tie striped in the pattern of Her Majesty's Own Argyle and Sutherland Fusiliers. Perhaps my stats dropped through the floor and I'm finally gonna get fired. We'll move in with Abuela down in Florida, allowing her the convenience of putting hexes on me at close range.

"Have a seat, Wishnefsky."

The copy chief studied a direct-mail letter on his computer screen. Sam sat and waited for the ax to fall.

Throckmorton cleared his throat and turned to Sam. "Young man—your Black Magic letter has landed us in deep trouble with the Federal Trade Commission. I should’ve‘ known it went a bit far, but I expected it to carve its own little market niche, which actually it has. Orders for the book have been quite respectable, you may be interested to know."

"How respectable?"

"Let's just say they haven't hurt your stats. But the FTC ordered us to stop mailing it, and of course we're in compliance officially, but,” Throckmorton winked, "we're flooding the country with it anyway. It’ll take awhile before the FTC catches on, and by then we'll have exhausted our lists. If I might say so, Black Magic was an inspired concept, almost as good as Colonel Bruce Cunningham. If the FTC contacts you, threaten to stick pins into their asses." Throckmorton chuckled at his little joke. "Never surrender your constitutional right to lie, my boy."

"Do you think I could get arrested for the Black Magic mailing?"

"This still is a free country last time I looked. As for management, we admire the audacious thinker. If I didn't know better, I'd've bought that damned book myself just to see what it was."

"To tell the truth, sometimes I feel guilty about taking advantage of people."

"A person who believes in black magic perhaps deserves to be swindled. Or maybe black magic really works. There's more to life than you dream of in your philosophy, said Shakespeare. Faith can move mountains, said Jesus. Everything ultimately is mind, said George Berkeley. Do you know who he was?”

“18th Century Irish bishop and philosopher.”

‘You know because you’re an intellectual, your mind is full of information and concepts but you doubt everything, which actually isn’t bad. Nothing is more terrifying than the person who never doubts, because that describes the fanatic, zealot and mad bomber. You might think I'm fanatical about direct-mail, but it's only a game. If I had to give it up," he snapped his fingers, "no big deal."

"I don't believe you."

"That's because you don't understand the significance of sailing in my life.

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